champagne is forever ~ alovelettertorome.com

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Friendship is sometimes a one way street

So I can stay up for two work nights in a row talking you through your 10,000th manic episode…

But you can’t say one kind word tonight because it’s “only my period what’s the big deal so you have ovarian cysts” and serious chronic menstrual pain but can’t take meds or drink the pain away. I am tired from holding your hand metaphorically through two all nighters in a row of a constant stream of your anger, coldness, and paranoia episodes…

If I’m honest with myself this is actually just your normal response anytime I’m sick or unwell or wanting a hug or a kind word or at least a little tender consideration rather than your manic one sided monologue conversations which last five hours or expectation of me making elaborate snacks and meals after a fourteen work hour day when I’m in crippling discomfort anytime we are together.

It’s just an extension of the time I had swine flu and you insisted I still drive to NYC and attend broadway shows and lavish dinners and I hallucinated in the car for most of the five hour drive and chattered so badly from the chills I violently shook and had stabbing pains in my back and felt like I was in a mental fog of confusion and had a 105 degree temperature and couldn’t get Tamiflu… Which led me to be later quarantined for six weeks between thanksgiving, my birthday, Xmas & New Years and out of work.

This reminds me of one of the many reasons why I stepped back and started building my wall and building myself back up again. Every time I let my guard down I get slapped hard by reality.

period alert everyone else it’s time to act accordingly to my mood swings do not touch my stomach or back give me room no sudden movements